Harry potter and the lord of the Serpentines
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Major AU! What if Harry was raised by the Serpentines? What if his parsaltounge abilities were allowed to flourish? What if Umbridge went bat-shit insane? READ TO FIND OUT! Good but Flawed Dumbeldore!
1. Chapter 1

**Harry potter and the lord of the Serpentines**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Dumbledore smiled as he turned all the lights on Privet Drive back on and gave one last look to the basket on the doorstep that contained the savior of the wizarding world...

"Good luck...Harry Potter..."

**BOOM!**

Dumbeldore found himself thrown to the far end of the street by the force of the explosion that destroyed not only the Dursley home but the house next to them as well...

Dumbeldore gaped in horror from on his back...watching the FIEND-Fyre not only consume most of Privet drive...but Voldemorts dark mark that now hung in the sky where the wizarding worlds savior had just been destroyed!

"NOOOO!" Shouted Dumbeldore in anguish.

**BOOM!**

Dumbeldore had not time to grieve though, more and more bombs were going off, every single house on the street was being blown to bits! And the FIEND-Fyre was spreading! He had to stop it before all of London was ablaze!

Meanwhile, from the shadows...

A dark cloaked figure watched as the headmaster continued to fight the magic flames until the aurors...and the press showed up...

"Serves you right, you meddling bastard." Snarled the figure as Dumbeldore found himself in the middle of a shoot-out as agitated muggle law enforcement ALSO showed up, saw weird men in robes shooting beads of light at the roaring inferno, assumed the worse, pointed their guns at the aurors and demanded they stand-down. Predictably; a PUREblood auror took offense to being ordered around by a MUGGLE and tried to shoot an obliviation at them..and that's when all hell broke loose.

As amusing as it was to see Dumbeldore forced to both mediate a now ferocious firefight between the two groups AND stop the still roaring magic inferno as it got WORSE...The figure knew he had to leave. He looked down at the basket he carried with the still sleeping Harry in it. "Come on kid, I might be limited on what I can do, but let's see if we can't give you a less shitty childhood..." He walks through a portal...

...

**BOOM!**

Snape's house along with the jerk potion master are blown to bits...via lightning bolt hitting his testicles...100 times...

The figure stays only long enough to laugh hysterically and send the dark mark into the sky before vanishing through yet another portal...

...

The figure groans with effort as his attempts to blow up the Ministry fail, "Seriously? That's still going to be a thing? But it doesn't even- He shakes his head, "Oh, forget it..."

Not having a choice- apparently - he had many people inside the building wrapped in impenetrable, invisible bubbles(sadly, this also included Malfoy SENIOR and Umbridge) in the courtroom where many 'former' death eaters had just convinced- (cough) Bribed (cough) -newly appointed minister fudge that they'd been under imperius and were thus innocent-

**BOOM!**

The minister, the majority of the Wizengamot, and most of the ministry would be blown to bits. The figure shook his head at the shattered remains of the once great institute of British wizard law, "Not as satisfying...but I guess it's better then nothing. You live to croak another day, toad."

He quickly teleports to the remains of the Department of mystery. First making sure that all the time-turners were destroyed, he searches through the rubble.

"Come on, I know it has to- BINGO!" He smiles as he picks up the last known scroll of Spinjutsu, pausing only long enough to smash a certain prophecy, a certain veil AND pick up some other miscellaneous knick knacks. He then blew up the rest of the department and shot the Dark mark into the sky before vanishing yet again...

...Deep underground in ancient China...

The Serpentine of Hypnobrai continued to live out their dank, miserable existence forever locked in the bottom of this hole in the ground...forever locked in these catacombs by the powerful magic of the ancient wizards of old...

They- like all the other Serpentine tribes - Never expected to see the sky again or feel the wind on their face. Never to have their children frolic in the meadows or eat mice.

They ESPECIALLY never expected to see a human...

**ZAP!**

The serpentine bat-monger paused as a cloaked HUMAN stepped out of thin air carrying an archaic scroll and a basket with a sleeping human baby in it.

"Can you tell me where Elder Gutknecht is?" Asked the human?" The stunned Serpentine- not knowing what else to do -points with his tail toward the elders cave.

"Much obliged." Said the cloaked human as he walked away...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry potter and the lord of the Serpentines 2**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Dumbeldore was polishing off his SEVENTH bottle of fire whisky, the last week or so had been a NIGHTMARE. First the destruction of numerous muggle city blocks, then the outrage and ire of the muggle prime minister over said destruction, Severus's death, the destruction of the Ministry and most of the Wizengamot, the public outcry over the death of the boy who lived and Dumbeldore's trial that followed...and of course...the swearing in of MINISTER Umbridge.

Dumbeldore practically sobbed over this. Why, why, oh WHY!? -of all the hundreds who died in that explosion...why did she have to be the one of the one's to live!? While everyone else was scrambling she took a shockingly uncharacteristically amount of initiative and put herself on top.

This was a disaster! Anyone who had the misfortune to know her longer then five minutes will agree she's the worst possible person to be in charge! On top of making sure he lost both his title's of Supreme Mugwump and of being head of the ICW as punishment for 'causing' the Boy-Who-Lived to die, she also tried to get his title as Headmaster revoked!

Thankfully, Hogwarts is semi-autonomous Sovereign land. Only in the most extreme of circumstances was the Ministry allowed to intervene, ESPECIALLY when it came to the Headmaster position or getting ride of people who LIVED there. And although extreme the circumstances indeed were, he'd had just enough political clout left to (barely)squeak by.

But that woman- among other horrible things - was a control freak and did not like being told 'no' and most certainly did not like things she could not bend to her whims! She was on a warpath now! Firing anyone not of 'proper breeding' and replacing them with ineffectual pureblood toadies. Making the debacle with the muggle prime minister bigger then it already was! If the ICW hadn't intervened, Umbridge would have declared war on the muggles for their 'insolence' of daring to tell her what to do!

Thankfully, she had no power over the students he allowed into Hogwarts, so the muggle born and half-blood students were safe...for the moment. Sadly, it looked like there would be worse to come!

He'd have to be VERY careful from now on about what happened at the school, there were certain conditions where Umbridge could influence how things happened here after all. In fact, he suspected that the only reason that she hadn't dusted off the antiquated and half-forgotten position of 'school inquisitor' was because she wasn't allowed to be inquisitor AND minister, and she didn't think she was secure enough in her current position to send someone else who he couldn't persuade or subvert against her.

He'd taken strides to block out most of the aforementioned conditions...the only condition he was worried about was the one where the Ministry was allowed to hire a replacement for one of his classes if he was unable to. Which meant he'd have to do more research into breaking that blasted curse Tom put on the DA position!

He'd avoided tampering with it as it involved a magic he was unfamiliar with and appeared rather volatile. That in addition to his numerous responsibilities... Then of course there'd been fighting the war... Plus the fact it was easy enough to find a non-lethal reason for the yearly substitutes to leave after just one year(thus satisfying the curse in a way that made sure no one died)... Why else would he tolerated Peeves antics after all?

Dumbeldore sighed. It had never seemed like too big of a priority before...well that was going to have to change! For the sake of Hogwarts, the children and the future of the wizarding world that madwoman could NOT be allowed a foothold here!

Speaking of the future of the wizarding world...

Dumbeldore looked over reports of all the deaths at the ministry, including the Death Eaters...

Dumbeldore was well aware that people criticized him for being too forgiving, for being too willing to give monsters a second chance, being too pacifistic, for only ever REACTING to Tom but NEVER taking the fight to him, how his ideology was old-fashioned and incompatible with realty outside a schoolyard.

...And they were absolutely right. Dumbeldore hated spouting all that nonsense. Sadly, it was the closest thing he was allowed to do by the ICW emergency- classified -decrees.

...the wizarding world was dying...it was that simple. Years of isolation, inbreeding, anti-muggle sentiments, xenophobia and infighting had thinned their gene pool out to such a degree that even magic was starting to struggle diminishing the negative side-effects

The official story told to the wizarding public after the war with Grindelwald(or 'WWII' as it was called by the muggles) was that his actions had demonized his beliefs so much that it was what convinced most wizarding communities to lift the ban of allowing muggleborn's to be taught at their schools, live in their society and even allow marriage of wizard/muggles. This was... more or less semi-happily embraced by the various wizarding communities who were war weary AND horrified of the atrocities Grindelwald and his muggle puppets had been up to in those ghastly 'camps'...

But the truth was...they had no choice. Between the findings Dumbeldore had presented- most of which he'd flinched from the aforementioned camps -and the staggering casualties from the war...if they didn't allow more 'newblood' in...the wizarding world would inevitably face extinction.

Naturally, the politicians didn't want the real reasons getting out. So despite Dumbeldore arguing for the contrary the evidence was sealed and Dumbeldore was put under a 'gag-clause/spell'.

And THAT was the reason he was so 'forgiving', it wasn't because he necessarily believed they deserved a second chance...the wizarding world NEEDED every potential breeding partner they could muster.

THAT was also the reason for never being proactive in the war with Tom. Despite what his critics believed, he was well aware how poorly he'd been conducting his tactics in the war. But he had no choice! The less confrontations meant less death, Less death meant Dumbeldore could stave off wizard extinction until things stabilized. For the greater good of the future of the wizarding world, it had to be done!

For while lessening the restrictions on muggleborns or any muggle had certainly helped- France being particularly progressive by allowing Veela equal citizenship and marriage rights -the necessity for secrecy from the muggles and old prejudices were still causing issues.

Although Dumboldore agreed with the former...the later never failed to put him off his tea in a bad way...

Dumbeldore was especially not comfortable with the mandatory- SECRET -compulsion that the ICW required all Wizard schools to put on their muggleborns. Sadly- unlike the Ministry -the ICW had FULL authority to do as they pleased in Hogwarts in regards to keeping the Status of Secrecy intact. Regardless of sovereignty.

This compulsion would gradually cause the muggleborns...well, not FORGET their old lives before magic...but rather eventually make them consider their muggle life irrelevant, make them more likely to ONLY marry a pureblood or halfblood, to only get a WIZARD job. Before just outright cutting all ties with their former muggle life completely.

Although Dumbeldore DID agree with the sentiment that they would be FAR more happier to have a life of magic and wizardry. Especially over the dull, mundane, tragic, horrible live WITHOUT the wonderful lifeblood of the cosmos that WAS magic that muggles were forced to endure(**1**)...Nevertheless, this was the WRONG way to go about it! ...Wrong choice or not, what were people without free will?

In any case, between the losses taken to both sides in the war AND Umbridge's hamfisted approach to everything...he genuinely feared for the future of wizarding Britan...

In any case; another issue to ponder...Snape...

Putting aside the usual flak he got for giving a second chance to someone like him...the amount of flak he got for considering him for a teaching roll had been STAGGERING. 'There's a difference between being good at something and being able to teach it', people had said. 'Let a former terrorist teach CHILDREN? Are you, mental?' Others had said. 'Man is a nightmare to be around' MOST had said.

And to all that...he completely AGREED.

Indeed, It would shock everyone to learn that he'd been so determined to put Snape in charge of Slytherin house was NOT because he thought he was the best man for the job as he'd declared in public...but rather the OPPOSITE.

Oh, how the founders were no doubt rolling in their graves to have their fine institute twisted to a pursuit so UNacadmeic and contrary to their purpose! But what choice did Dumbeldore have?

It was increasingly obvious that Slughorns teachings did NOTHING but generate hypercompotent dark lords: Tom, Malfoy, Parkinson and Rookwood just to name a few! Dumbeldore gave another sigh as he revised that line of thinking. "_...Well, alright that was probably being a bit unfair to poor Slughorn. Not to mention a fairly LARGE over-generalization._"

Nevertheless, it went without saying that the next generation of Death eaters- despite a large portion of the old being dead -would find themselves in Slytherin. Wizard society was so insular and tradition-bound(England being sticklers for the later especially), it was woefully easy to predict 9 out of 10 times where a child would go house-wise. The fact that the hat was bound to place them in the house the child WANTED, helped to make things even MORE predictable.

Since Dumbeldore was convinced that Tom wasn't gone for good and would most certainly recruit from this new generation... he had conducted a brilliant scheme. He would place Snape in charge of the house of the snake...Snape would then predictable abuse his power to spoil the future Death Eaters rotten. Protect them from punishment, look the other way of their crimes, punish their 'enemies' for whatever trumped up charges he could think of, give them enough points to render the house cup meaningless, allow them to cheat to pass all their exams, or just rig their exams for them pass regardless of how bad they did.

At first glance, this looked horrible...but it served Dumbeldore threefold.

ONE: the house of the cunning would degenerate into a house of incompetent, spoiled, third-rate thugs. Thus being more of a hindrance to Tom when he recruited them then anything.

TWO: Slytherin- and indirectly Tom's and his beliefs as they were both so closely associated to the house -would be further demonized in the eyes of the rest of the school through Snapes blatant favoritism. Not only would this curtail Tom's attempt's to recruit OUTSIDE Syltherin- contrary to popular belief, his followers were not EXCLUSIVELY Slytherin(Ravenclaw Alumni Rookwood was the most glaring example) -but it would also make it easier for the other three houses to be rallied against them if need be. Nothing like a common enemy to bring the most unlikely alliances together!

THIRD: Snape would be so well-liked by the 'dark' houses for 'watching over' their children, they wouldn't blink when Snape 'rejoined' Tom's side when he inevitably returned. Thus putting Snape in the perfect position to be his double agent.

So again, what choice had he had? For the greater good of the wizarding world, he had to do it! True, their might've been a drop in potion experts over the coming years...but Dumbeldore was sure they could be shored up again AFTER Tom was taken care of for good...

In any case, it was a moot point now with Snape dead. He'd been considering who he could replace Slughorn with that could be trusted to follow through on his plan...when Slughorn himself stormed into his office and flat out telling him he WOULDN'T be quitting after all!

This stunned Dumbledore! Slughorn- as one of the oldest teachers on staff -had Tenure and couldn't be fired be him save for either extreme circumstances or if Slughorn allowed it! The only reason he'd agreed to it was his grief over Lilly's death and the MASSIVE Severance stipend he'd been promised!

This was terrible! Dumbeldore had tried to convince him to reconsider. But Slughorn seemed filled with new vigor and energy! Although he admitted to going on a sabbatical to 'find himself' and 'rethink his life', he fully intended to come back!

...Surprisingly, it wasn't all bad. For whatever reason, Slughorn also FINALLY gave him the REAL memory of his 'chat' with Tom. Thus confirming Dumbeldore's belief that Tom knew about Horcruxes.

AND he wouldn't have to give him that severance stipend, thank Merlin(had it gone through, he'd have been forced to cut everyone's salaries...AGAIN.).

When asked what brought about this change in attitude; Slughorn only said. 'I have a debt to pay...' And then left the room...

It's around then that Dumbeldore started polishing off his Firewhiskies...

Again, as horrible as the last week had been...there was ONE silver lining in an otherwise grim future. He looks to his blood ward stone..and indeed, Harry still LIVED...

Dumbeldore didn't know HOW the child had survived the Fiendfyre blaze- seriously HOW had the boy survived that? The blasted thing had consumed FIFTY blocks! And it was STILL burning! It was Only thanks to the combined efforts of over a DOZEN foreign 'unspeakable' ministry departments that they were able to keep it from spreading further! Apparently it would take FIFTY years for it to dissipate! Worse, using any spell to CONCEAL the blaze from muggles would weaken the binding and allow it to spread again! It was proving a nightmare to explain away to the muggle public! The ICW had to pour mountains of GOLD on the Prime Minister and his cabinet- who were still mad at Umbridge for almost declaring war on them...AND turning them into frogs- SERIOUSLY, what the bloody hell had that woman been thinking!?

Seriously, Dumbeldore was quite positive that the ONLY reason why the ICW didn't have Umbridge sacked and censored was because LEGALLY they would then be obligated to place a new minster in charge AND pay for the English Ministries reconstruction as they had interfered with an election of a foreign minister during a time of 'crisis and upheaval'.

So Umbridge was allowed to stay in charge...but the ICW had put numerous restrictions and sanctions on her, the British ministry would also be forced to payback the ICW for all the money they lost 'compensating' the Prime Minister! Umbridge had naturally responded by taxing everyone that wasn't rich or pureblood...

Sweet Merlin, the next several years were going to be a nightmare...

...what was he thinking about originally? Ah, yes. Harry Potter was alive and well. He just needed to find him. Dumbeldore was also going to keep this to himself naturally, there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell he was risking Umbridge getting word of this! Not after threatening to turn the QUEEN into a rat to her FACE! Bloody blast, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER!?

Dumbeldore desperately tried to calm himself by petting Fawkes and sucking Lemondrops...he then reads the papers detailing how Sirius Black blew himself up while killing Peter and many muggles...

...Meanwhile...

Elder Gutknecht was amazed as he stared down at the small human child, To see a 'speaker'...after all these ages...could a new golden Age be open them?

The human who'd brought the child simply watched as the old snake tested the infant, "So...do we have an agreement?"

The elder nodded as he shook his hand with his tail, "Yes...he will be raised with us...and you can guarantee our freedom?"

Behind his mask, the old human gave a sad, resigned sigh. "Not by me...or him...but if all goes according to plan...for better or for worse, taking him in will set you and the others free...Destiny can be a stubborn bitch when it comes to this sort of thing." He whispers that last part annoyed...

"Sorry?"

"Nothing."

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**(1): to be clear, in this story. Dumbeldore will have a moderate wizard version of the 'white man's burden' belief. He doesn't HATE muggles...more along he pities them for being 'cursed' to never know the joys of magic. He's not a wizard supremacist or anything drastic like that...but...there is a LITTLE overlap between their beliefs...whether he realizes this or not is the main problem...  
**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Harry potter and the lord of the Serpentines 3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

For the first time in eleven long, grueling years, Dumbeldore was feeling hopeful for the new year. Naturally, Minister Umbrige's governing 'strategy' had been a disaster from the start...

Her private police force of snatchers enforced her laws and captured anyone who disobeyed her or who's lineage wasn't 'pure' enough.

Thankfully, under the current ICW sanctions she could not throw people into Azkaband, execute them, have their wands snapped or exiled without a ICW monitored trial...she COULD still make their lives a nightmare until they were forced to leave for greener pastures though...

She confiscated 'undesirables' homes, their businesses, their none-Gringotts life-saving's(The ICW are required by Goblin/human treaties to side with Gringotts should any wizard violate their sovereignty. Which technically includes all Gringott banks.), get them fired from their jobs, impose ruinous taxes on them, or just arrange for them to be beaten in the streets.

Naturally, this caused more then half the British wizarding world to flee to greener pastures. This of course soon caused the economy to falter. Foreign investors were reluctant to do business with a country run by an unstable, incompetent tyrant. The majority of those who left were blue collar, middle class...which caused most of those businesses which relied on such labor to downsize or shut-down completely.

Diagon-alley had more or less become just a bigger version of knock-turn alley. Attracting all manner of dark-creatures and criminals...

Of course, Umbridge wouldn't admit that a dying British wizard nation was HER fault. So she just kept scapegoating anyone she could get her hands on!...which you'd think would be bad for the Muggleborns...but in fact it was quite the opposite.

Hogwarts alone, had the magic to know where all the muggleborns lived and kept record of it. They had been required to send copies of those records to the Ministry...but said copies had been destroyed along with the Ministries building when it got bombed 11 years back. And thankfully, the founders had included in the charter the power for the headmaster to refuse to send out copies if he/she felt they would be used to harm said students.

With no knowledge of where the muggleborns lived, no clue of how to navigate the muggle parts of the UK, bared by the ICW from doing anything to risk the Status of secrecy, inability to break past Hogwarts wards for both magical AND political reasons, as well as Dumbeldore thinking ahead to replacing the Hogwarts express with port-keys to bring them directly to the school from their homes...the majority of the Muggleborns were safe.

The half-bloods and blood traitors weren't so lucky, unfortunately. Unlike the muggleborns, they lived in the wizarding half of the UK. Which made them much easier for the Ministry to keep track of and locate. Thus, they bore the blunt of the persecution. So the majority of those who left were them...it ALSO didn't help things that who was considered a 'blood traitor' tended to shift with the Ministers increasingly erratic whims, need for a scapegoat, or simple shifting alliances...

This lead to many of the half-blood and pureblood students drooping out to flee along with their families. At first many on the school governors celebrated the departure of so many blood traitors...until Dumbeldore smugly reminded them of the loss of tuition money.

The celebration abruptly stopped, being a Hogwarts governor had much privilege and prestige in their society and there were many circumstances that allowed them to have more power in the school then the Ministry OR Headmaster...

But there was a catch; if the school started to loss money past a certain level, the board had to either: A. find the money elsewhere or B. pay the difference themselves out of their own pockets...in addition to incurring negligence fees(The Founders were VERY strict about people doing their jobs properly).

Now, they COULD'VE just asked for a loan from the Ministry...but this would've given them leverage over the board and although the pureblood elite saw Umbridge as a useful too(well, more of a mad dog they could- sometimes -point where they wished)...but to allow that madwoman authority over them or the school? ...No, just no. They're children went to this school, for crying out loud!

They could've also awarded emergency power to Dumbeldore so the financial burden would fall to him instead...but then he'd have the leverage over the school finances he needed to enact the many programs and reforms they'd been blocking...not to mention he'd finally be allowed to audit their finances and find out where the school budget had REALLY been going...

So...with no other option they had to use the 'empowerer'. Among other things Dumbeldore had found in Grindelwald's Horrid camps, was a device that once activated would empower the wombs of the muggles of a certain radius to make them more likely to give birth to muggleborns.

Clearly, Grindelwald- for all his faults -knew that more wizards would be needed to prevent the extinction of wizardkind. Without another choice, the ICW were forced to agree to his idea to make copies of the device and put one in every wizard school(while everyone involved was sworn to secrecy of the devices purpose/existence, naturally.).

Naturally, the more biased schools- like Durmstrang -refused to create more muggleborns then the minimal requirement, while the more progressive schools- like Beauxbatons -did the maximum.

Hogwarts had- Despite Dumbeldore's best efforts -remained firmly in the former camp...until that glorious day he shoved those drop-out forms and financial reports right in the boards smug faces...

Not wanting to pay out of their own pocket, put themselves at the mercy of that madwoman, OR give Dumbeldore more power...they were forced to crank up the 'empowerer' full blast to start cranking out more tuition money. The majority of Hogwarts students the past 11 years had increasingly become muggleborn.

Even better, to convince more muggleborns to come instead of just fleeing the country, Dumbeldore extorted the board to buy their supplies for them(which although aggravating, was still cheaper then the ruinous fees they'd have to pay otherwise)!

Dumbeldore couldn't help but smirk. Ironically, by trying to drive Muggleborns OUT, Umbridge had actually made it possible for HIM to bring more muggleborn IN.

With this thought though...Dumbeldore couldn't help but frown. He was truly torn...on the one hand; by convincing more muggleborns to stay, he would make Tom's return very difficult as his ideology would have a harder time thriving in such a conditions...on the other hand...

Dumbeldore shook his head, what was he thinking? There was no other hand! Wizarding Britain was his home! His nation! His people! Despite the mess it's government was in currently, he couldn't just abandon it! Once Tom was dealt with forever, he was sure things would be set to right!**(1)**

Speaking of the muggleborns...

Dumbeldore sighed, with so many more non-wizard raised coming in. There was inevitable culture clash...He looked over the more usual muggleborn complaints.

'Why was there no curriculum like math, science, geography, English. etc?' Dumbeldore sighed, having such 'mundane' subjects downsized and compressed to 'muggle studies' was another ploy by the ICW to get more muggleborns to give up their muggle lives and integrate fully into the wizarding world.

The 'logic' of it was that without any muggle skills to fall back on, they'll be forced to to stay in the wizarding world. This made the headmaster want to rip out his beard! No matter how much he tried to explain how such skills were essential for every day living(how did they expect people to even buy groceries without knowing basic math?), or how essential those 'mundane' subjects were to magic(Math to Arithmancy. Biology to herbology, care of magical creatures, and transfiguration. Physics to charms. Geography to Apparation, floo-network creation, and port-key making. English to ancient runes. Chemistry to potions and alchemy(so essential was it to the later, that he was forced to shut down the class entirely when the ICW shut down it down as taking Alchemy without said knowledge was simply too dangerous and costly!), they wouldn't budge! Nevermind that test scores across the world(and poor grammar and writing as the daily prophet can attest to) had been going downhill since they implemented it!

Fortunately, Dumbeldore had a work-around. He opened his private vault and pulled out a Swastika-clad bar of gold. Dumbeldore wasn't proud of raiding that secret Nazi gold deposit after the war...but with all the backwards, secret laws that the ICW were installing...he'd seen no choice in the manner. As much he wanted to at least remove the swastikas, that actually decreased it's value considerably, much to his surprise.(Sadly, he could not use them to finance Hogwarts directly, as the board would immediately learn about it and no doubt confiscate it for their own use)

The ICW laws only forbid him from paying to give the children education in those fields with WIZARD money, never anything about MUGGLE currency(especially ILLEGAL muggle currency).

So now he created and financed universities specializing in those subjects, for students to take AFTER their Hogwarts education. It had to be after, otherwise it would fall under ICW guidelines who would immediately shut it down. He also couldn't use them to teach no longer available magic courses(like alchemy and mystic-metalforging), as all wizarding nations were only allowed one magic school each.

He also shared his wealth with like-minded headmasters across the world so they could do likewise...

Another complaint of muggleborn parents was of course how their children had been in danger during the 'Yara-ma-yha-who and the panflutes of Zeus' incident last year...and the 'Intulo leviathans and the scuba gear of Atlantis' incident the year before that...and the Motiki infestation the year before THAT. And so on and so forth...

Dumbeldore knew that most muggle school never had to worry about death or dismemberment, and perhaps that worked for them...but that simply wasn't an option for wizard schools.

It was expected- in fact NEEDED -for at least one dangerous event to happen once per school year in EVERY magical school.

Why? To better prepare young magicals for the absurdly dangerous life of a Wizard, that's why! life-expectancy among wizards was far lower then any muggle despite magic giving them longer life-spans. They gave children a WEAPON at 11(the optimal age to begin their study in magic...lest they risk becoming an Obscurial) and crossed their fingers about them not blowing their heads off! Unlike muggles, they could be afflicted by diseases that could turn them to stone, undead, were-beast or even living fire! Magical carnivores mage-sight would ALWAYS find magicals AND always look for them and ALWAYS try to eat them both for their taste and because eating magicals would boost their own magic and growth.**(2)** While muggles could safely scoff at astrology; magicals routinely had their destiny's, fortune, magic and health constantly twisted and rewritten by the whims of the stars. They daily tampered with the fabric reality on a whim...so it wasn't out of place for a pissed reality to tamper BACK(the poor wizard settlement at Tunguska had to learn that the hard way.).

An outside observer would consider the Weasley family crazy for having 7 kids despite clearly not being able to afford to support them... But having a family that size was not only considered normal but sensible among wizards. Why, the younger of the Weasly's didn't know it. But they'd actually had 14 siblings in total(the other 7 having died before Ron was even born). And the youngest Malfoy had actually 25 siblings before him(he, however. Was the first to survive long enough to age 11...the majority of the rest having been stillborn).

This, had the effect of giving magical parents a rather detached and desensitized view of danger in regards to their children.

Tell a muggle parent that your putting a valuable magical artifact in a mirror that could drive people mad and a Cerberus to guard it into a school in the hope of bating a genocidal madmen and testing a potential messiah? You'd be lucky to get just the death penalty before getting lynched by a mob of angry soccer moms.

But tell a magical parent this? Most would more or less give you the reply of, 'Oh, another of Professor Dumbeldore's friends asked him to secure yet another magical item, did they? Ah, that takes me back... Anyway, what's for dinner?'**(3)**

...Needless to say, the only reason that more muggleborn parents didn't pull their children from magical education is the threat that without proper magical education their child could become an OBSCURIAL...in addition to the threat of the ICW separating/obliviating the child and parents if necessary to prevent said threat.

Oh, again Dumbeldore hated that...understood the necessity of doing so to prevent an obscurial? Yes, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He also didn't like testing poor Harry so soon. Ideally, the tests of a potential apprentice and successor- especially of this magnitude -would preferably happen AFTER the boy came of age. But with Tom lurking about, Dumbeldore had no choice but to accelerate things!

Besides, now was the best time. Inevitably, Like all civilizations that obsessed over 'purity', the few remaining purebloods- with no more scapegoats or enemies they could readily crush -were currently locked in a mini-civil war, arguing over their own definitions of 'pure'. The perfect time to reveal Harry alive and reintegrate him into Wizard society while they were all too busy bickering to take notice!

Dumbeldore tskd over the latest casualty reports of said bickering. Fools, There were reasons why 'pure' things are not often found in nature. Pure alcohol burns. Pure arsenic kills. Pure potassium explodes. Almost everything that exists in this world is a blending of many things, and is often better for it: Alloys tend to be much stronger than their component materials...but try explaining that to entitled aristocrats!

Dumbeldore looks over to the device that showed Harry still alive. Now, the magic of Hogwarts immediately sent the first letter through owl before he could read the address; and said address didn't get added into the ledgers until AFTER Harry sent back a yes. He'd wait for the address to appear...or the most likely, he'd wait for the owl be unable to find Harry and come back so he could see the address for himself. It had been over a week now, he wondered...

Suddenly, his deputy Headmaster McGonagall burst in. "Albus! There's a situation in the owlry!"

To Dumbeldores shock, he learned that ALL the school owls had been sent off with new copies of Harry's letter...and NONE had come back! And the school wards had shown all were now dead!

_"What the blazes happened to all the owls!?" _Thinks Dumbeldore baffled.

...Meanwhile...

Although the mandala shield around the mountain prevented them from leaving or anyone coming in. The Hypnobrai still felt the entrance needed guarding. Ordinarily, this would be a boring assignment-

**CHOMP!**

But the past week, it had been rather enjoyable! Free owl treats by the dozens! Small animals could get through the barrier, like a net that caught big fish, but allowed smaller fish to go through the holes...

**CHOMP!**

The guard coughed out some paper flakes as he readied himself to strike the next unsuspecting owl that tried to come through...

...

Fortunately, buying a large amount of owls wasn't uncommon in the wizarding world and wasn't tracked by the Ministry, the ICW, or the School board so Dumbeldore used his 'special' gold to replace all the owls...he then had to replace all of them AGAIN when none came back from trying to deliver Harry's letter...and AGAIN when that batch went missing...

Finally, the poor Headmaster finally decided it would just be easier to stun one of the owls after the school magic gave it a letter and take it to just read the address for himself...after making sure the poor owl was okay first naturally...

What he found only baffled him MORE-

**Mr. H. Potter, the second cave under the blue fungi, 5,** **Pagoda st., Xizang Providence, China/Tibet  
**

_"How in the bloody hell did Harry get all the way to China!?"_ Exclaimed Dumbeldore to himself in disbelief. But he decided to save that question until AFTER he found Harry and made sure he was safe. The odd name at least indicated that he was at least in a wizarding home...although not of a variety he was familiar with...

He didn't want to go through the ICW to talk to the Chinese ministry for the location of the address. He didn't want to risk Umbridge learning of this after all... Although, even if he did he probably wouldn't get anywhere. The Asian ministries were a very isolationist bunch...for reasons he had never had time to fathom they'd always been rather hostile to the rest of the ICW. And then after WW2 the Chinese ministry seemed to have broken off ties to the ICW altogether.

"_Hmmm...come to think of it...so had the Japanese Ministry at that point...and the Russian Ministry! If it was just Asian solidarity that would be one thing...but the Russians being involved make that whole theory fall apart."_

Dumbeldore had been too busy rebuilding wizarding Europe, cleaning up Grindelwalds mess and getting all his pro-muggle, and anti-xenophobic/incest reforms through to have really noticed it at the time...perhaps he should look into it?

Dumbeldore shook his head, he'd worry about that later! Right now he needed to find Harry! He was sure whatever issues the Chinese wizards were dealing with, he could reason with them!

...Beijing...

Dumbeldore frowned at the large, fenced-off military complex. _"I don't understand...the map I got from my ICW contact clearly states the Chinese Ministry of magic should be right here...but none of the buildings match the descriptions and none of the designated entry spells are working!" _He looks at the map again, _"Hmmmm...this map was last updated in...the 30's?"_ He gives an irritated huff._ "Well, that's annoying. They must've moved it. But shirely, they wouldn't be so rude to not tell other ICW nations where their MINISTRY building was located, would they? By Merlin, what could've caused our Asian wizarding brethren to despise us so?"_

Resolving to get to the bottom of this cultural schism after he found Harry, Dumbeldore apparates to the nearest Asian wizard community to ask for more up-to-date directions.

...so busy was he with his own thoughts...he never noticed the base starting to light up and guards pour out and go to high alert...

...later...

Dumbeldore couldn't believe it! The Li River wizarding Community wasn't where it was supposed to be either! This was the sixth place he'd looked!

Dumbeldore groaned, that was the last community location he'd known off! And it was only a matter of time before someone from Britain realized he was gone and tried to locate him...or WORSE, Harry!

With no time to look for where the Asian wizards had relocated, he knew he had only one option left. He'd took a small bit of blood from Harry as a baby to make sure he'd always be able to know he was alive and well...but it could also be used as a one-shot locator for him.

It was a risky gambit...but he had no time left, between Tom's inevitable return and Umbridge's never-ending attempts to usurp and replace him...he had no other options left...

Combining the blood with his deluminator, he casts the spell to track Harry's location and sighs as the blood burns out immediately. _"I must move quickly! If Harry moves locations, I'll never be able to find him again!"_

He quickly aparates...never seeing the man hiding behind the tree. The 'groundskeeper' speaks into his 'wristwatch'.

"代码夜莺被证实。我再说一遍，我们手上有一个代码夜莺。"

...Tibet...

Naturally, Harry was in Xizang Providence(the only part of the address Albus was able to recognize). The spell was able to give him a greater focus on Harry's location...but only within a hundred mile general radius. Even with his Mage-sight Albus had been expecting a long grueling search in the tibetian alps...

So it was to his surprise that his mage-sight almost blinded him as a nearby mountain was giving off a powerful mystic barrier that to his mystic sight was almost like looking into the sun.

So startled was he, Dumbeldore fell and rolled down the snowy mountaintop a bit before he could correct his descent with his wand. Brushing the snow off himself he quickly cast some diagnostic charms on the barrier.

This was without a doubt the most powerful barrier he'd ever seen...also the strangest. Although the basic aspects of weaving a barrier like this were universal, there were some clearly 'foreign' aspects to it that Dumbeldore couldn't really identify.

But in any case, it was one of the most powerful and ancient barriers he'd ever come across. Dumbeldore reluctantly checked his tracking spell to be sure...and sure enough, Harry was clearly somewhere within the barrier.

Dumbeldore groaned, he knew how inadvisable it was to take on a barrier this large and ancient with no preparation. ESPECIALLY with functions and components he didn't fully understand...but he'd already been out of England for at least a week now...Mcgonagall could only run interference for so long...Umbridge was always sniffing around, having him and his staff harassed for ANYTHING that could be used against him. Fawkes had already sent him a dozen letters from Mcgonagall. Warning him that she believed Umbridge was starting to get suspicious, Lucius DEFINITELY knew something was up...her or him learning where Harry was alive and where he was needed to be avoided at all cost!

And although he wouldn't pretend to understand what the political climate was here in wizarding Asia...he doubted that madwoman coming down here with all the grace of a bull in a china shop would help!

Out of times and options, Dumbeldore made what preparations he could...and began to bring down the barrier...

This barrier was in fact one of the most powerful mega-spells ever conceived, made by magics and incantations LONG forgotten to the dust of history...anyone else trying to attempt this would not only fail but killed in a rather spectacular and messy way...

However, this wasn't just ANYONE. This was Albus Dumbeldore. One of the wisest and most powerful wizards of his age. He'd forgotten more spells and wisdom then most people could cram in their noggins in one lifetime.

More importantly, he wielded and was recognized as the true master of the Elder wand. An artifact forged by death itself.

Still...even with all this...it probably wouldn't have been enough. The spell was VERY massive, very powerful and had centuries for it's magic to fester and strengthen.

But there was one last thing playing to Dumbeldore's favor. The barrier...was standing in the way of destiny. So...while the universe was rolling for both Albus initiative and the Barriers fortitude...if Destiny just happened to bump the proverbial table to give Dumbeldore a 20 and the barrier a negative 5...well, that was just life really...

In any case...

**BOOM!**

The barrier shattered...and an exhausted Dumbeldore fell to the snow...unconscious to all...minutes later...two figures slithered up beside him...

"Is he dead? Can we eat him?"

"...No...we'd better not. For better or for worse, he was the one who clearly freed us...and that means on our honor, we owe him a debt..."

Without a word, they grabbed Albus up and carried him home...

Meanwhile...across the globe...an ancient mandala had just lost one of it's nodes...and the rest was slowly starting to unravel...soon...they would ALL be free...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**(1): Another one of Dumbeldore's issues is how patriotic he is...he's not CRAZY-patrotic or anything radical, but he tends to be a bit in denial over how bad his nations issues are(he's aware his nation isn't perfect, but he tries to rationalize or downplay the issues to himself and others) and be optimistic that eventually, EVERYTHING can be fixed...no matter how broken it is...**

**(2): ****muggles couldn't (usually) be seen by most magical carnivores, the lack of magic also causes them to smell and taste rotten and semi-inedible to them. That more then anything else was the main reason why magicals had been able to keep creatures like that secret from muggles for centuries...no matter how much prideful magicals would deny it.**

**(3): Really, as long as nobody died(or someone extorted the schoolboard to do something drastic) past(sorry Hagrid) or present and the current Headmaster filled out the proper paperwork in advance...there would be no(Legal) repercussions(more or less) for any danger to the students in the school...be it planned or caused by outside forces. In the instant of the sorcerer stone, Dumbeldore isn't even required to the LATTER. As the school is still licensed as a 'siege fortress' from Founder times and is thus grandfatherd in to allow him to hide dangerous objects there AND guard them with whatever means he deems necessary. So School or no school. Children or no children. Child endangerment or not, it's all(technically) legal.**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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